Sometimes mums and dads can be accused of terrible things regarding their children. Some may be true, that occurred when they were still together. Others may be ‘news to them’.

Sometimes accusations can be made as a form of ‘punishment’ to either partner. This can occur if either mum or dad are at the angry stage of loss. It is not unusual for past behaviour to be seen through a different lens when angry or upset.

Respond by being honest and try not to involve the children by asking them what they think.